We’re programmed from childhood to share everything we have and to not say or do anything that may hurt someone’s feelings.
As we become adults, we continue to follow this programming which leads us to being walked on, having relationships with people who aren’t good for us, or staying in jobs we don’t care for.
Why? Because we don’t know how to hold our boundaries when faced with discomfort or hard conversations.
That discomfort we feel (the “I don’t want to but I have to” emotion) when felt for too long, becomes tolerance. Tolerance eventually leads to resentment or explosive reactions that force us further away from what we want.
Tolerance doesn’t just occur in our personal relationships but also in our money relationship.
Toleration with money may look like saying “yes” to non-ideal clients, work we don’t want, or experiences that don’t serve us in an attempt to please someone else. Over time, the toleration turns to resentment (of the people, work, etc.) which leads to burn-out, and eventually to quitting altogether, often destroying any person-to-person relationships in the process.
If we want to create more money in our life, we need to create and hold stronger boundaries around what we will and won’t do.
Here’s the 3-2-1 on this aspect of the Attitude of Boundaries.
3 TRUTHS
I. The more we tolerate boundary violations, the further away we get from what we really want.
II. When we stop saying “yes” to work we merely tolerate because of the money attached to it, we free ourselves to take on more aligned opportunities and clients which results in more money.
III. Setting stronger boundaries in our life may feel restrictive, but it actually allows us more freedom. Freedom to do what we want, work with who we want, and pursue income and impact in a way that fills rather than depletes us.
2 ACTIONABLE STEPS
I. Honestly evaluate what you’re tolerating in your money relationship. (Do you tend to say “yes” to any job that will pay you? How many of your clients are actually people you want to work with? Etc.)
II. Create ONE new boundary around the work you’ll do or the type of client you’ll take on. Where is your “line in the sand”?
1 QUESTION
I. What am I tolerating?
For tips on confidently asking for money, read my 3-2-1 on the Attitude of Confidence.
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To your impact and legacy,
