Less than 9 months later, my wife was the victim of TWO armed robberies and our life seemed to fall apart in slow motion. Deb spiraled in PTSD, losing her job and eventually attempting to take her life. We had to cancel our application to foster youth. And even my “stable” and “safe” job took a sideways turn as management changed hands.

By mid-2009 we knew something had to change. So I found a new job and we moved from Utah to Maryland, thinking that… well… if we just escaped what happened in Utah, then life would be better.

But it didn’t get better. It got worse.

Deb’s mental health continued to decline and our two-income house went to a permanent one income. Even with a $30,000 pay raise, we didn’t have enough money to offset for the HUGE cost of living increase. (East coasters, go ahead and laugh. I was a super naive 30-year-old.) Our Utah house went into foreclosure, debt piled up, creditors called non-stop, and I had zero support system to help me through the dark times. Then it happened — we had to commit Deb to a psychiatric hospital.

I was alone and I was scared.

Just changing jobs wasn’t enough. Making over $100K a year wasn’t enough. Being in a niche industry with super coveted and highly desirable skills wasn’t enough. I still found myself at our local church group asking for help to put food on my family’s table.

The shame was real — the fear that maybe I was not enough.

Then my dog died and I couldn’t keep it together anymore. It was the final straw that not only broke me but sent me on my own journey of healing and self-discovery that ultimately changed the way I saw myself, my money, and my relationships.

That darkness was a powerful teacher and it led me deep into personal development work. I’ll never forget the moment at a Body Language Extreme seminar I was attending that I realized I had a mission — a purpose beyond technology. I stood in this group of strangers, declaring my new purpose with boldness and power. “I don’t need others’ approval,” I said. “They can either get on my train or get out of the way.”

And I haven’t stopped. I can’t. Not until we’ve changed the way we talk to and about money.

See, I discovered I had a gift… an affinity for money. I can talk to it and, even stranger, it talks back. And when I implemented what it told me, it changed my world. My relationships with myself, my wife, and my God improved. My stress (no matter the circumstances) almost disappeared.

And, of course, my pay increased by the tens of thousands until I finally left corporate to pursue this work of leading innovators and industry disruptors to the same thing I’d found — power in my decision making, control in my pocketbook, and leadership in my field.